Here we are at the end of January already. For me, 2017 has started off on a wee bit of a sad note. Actually, it was a rough ending to 2016 and a bumpy start to the year. For those of you who are pet owners will understand this blog. I adopted a sweet, beautiful little tabby cat named Newman in August of 2010. He has been my constant companion (other than my man-friend, which is what I like to refer to him as!) who keeps me company at home while I work. Newman got sick almost four years ago with kidney disease which was a bit challenging but he was doing quite well for a long time with natural remedies and care. He started to show signs of decline in November, but I really hoped that he would just bounce back like he did before. He had just turned 10 which is considered to be a “senior” cat, but he still seemed young to me.
After being on a total roller coaster all through the Christmas season, New Years and into the beginning of January it was clear to us that he needed to be put to sleep. My heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces and the love that has come out of this has been, quite honestly, profound. Since this was my first cat and my first experience of making difficult choices and putting him to sleep, it was hard and too soon.
In the days leading up to his passing I savoured every moment with him. Some days he was better and others it was clear he was suffering. It was a time that all I wanted to do was to stop time, keep him forever and have those precious moments to never leave. It reminded me of how the true nature of haiku is based on these moments. Profound and moving moments that make you feel things on a deep level. When we are faced with loss it’s painful but there is always a silver lining. Well, in this case there is for me. I only had him for a little over six years but I wouldn’t change it for a thing and he brought so much joy and love into our lives. It’s helped me to be more present, mindful and more aware. I was never a cat person before I had Newman and I’ve grown to love cats and their mysterious nature.
I wrote my haiku for Newman yesterday and it has helped me with the grieving process and to heal from my loss. Haiku continues to surprise and help me in all areas of my life. I don’t tend to write “sad” haiku because I don’t want to make other people feel sad, but in this case it really has been healing which is powerful and positive.
Rest in peace my sweet little Newman! Until we meet again…….
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